Confidence is a state of mind, it’s all about the way you think and what you focus on.
When you feel confident, you think and act positively, but when you don’t feel so confident, negative thoughts are never far from your mind, right?
With negative thoughts at the forefront of your mind, self-doubt creeps in all too easily, and feels real.
Then when you find yourself under pressure, your confidence tends to hit the rocks. Picture the scene: you’ve been asked to give a presentation at work about something you’re really knowable and excited about. The only problem is, you hate giving presentations. Just the thought of speaking in public brings you out in a cold sweat, and even though the topic of the presentation is something you believe in, you don’t believe in your ability to present the information to an audience.
Confidence is Being Okay with Being Vulnerable
It’s often said that if you’re feeling unsure of what you’re saying, you should just say it with confidence, and everyone will believe you know what you’re talking about. But is that true confidence? No, it’s putting on a false front.
True confidence comes from within.
You see, if you’ve got something to say that you really believe in, your fear of what anyone else might think about what you have to say diminishes . It’s fair to say that a fear of public speaking stems from feelings of vulnerability; putting yourself out there to be shot down by anyone who disagrees with your point of view or how you say it.
But with true confidence, your fear of being challenged – or even being proved wrong is secondary to expressing yourself.
Why? Because you’re okay with being vulnerable.
With true confidence, you don’t mind putting yourself out there, because for you, finding out that you’re wrong about something isn’t a negative experience, it’s an opportunity to learn something new even though it doesn’t feel great sometimes.
Confidence isn’t about knowing all the answers, it’s about knowing who you are and what you believe in – it’s about being authentic.
Now imagine yourself giving the presentation. You’re very excited about the topic and you’ve got some great ideas, but that little nagging voice of self-doubt is there again in the back of your mind telling you to keep those ideas to yourself because you can’t be sure that anyone else will like them: “What if they think I’m ridiculous?” “What if they laugh at my ideas?” So, you play it safe and stick to the script, choosing not to share any of your enthusiasm or thinking-out-of-the-box-thoughts.
Once again, a fear of being vulnerable prevents you from showing your true colours or originality.
If this resonates with you, take a moment to consider why being vulnerable from time to time should be considered such a bad thing?
If you believe in who you are and what you have to say, there’s nothing to fear from being your authentic self. Think of it this way, you can’t know what others are going to think of your ideas if you don’t put them out there… what if they love them?
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